Brady Drake
Most of us remember those uncomfortable moments when our parents sat us down to talk about pinching pennies and saving for college.
“Money doesn’t grow on trees,” they’d say. Now, it’s time for adult children to return the favor.
We all age – surprise! And as part of that process, older adults will face major financial and lifestyle-altering hurdles as they approach retirement and old age.
“No one wants to talk about it,” says Alex Vasichek, owner and financial advisor at Elevate Financial.
“But the sooner we have heart-to-heart conversations between family members, the better prepared everyone will be.”
Get the Ball Rolling
A conversation about retirement or succession should ideally happen when children are adults and financially independent, according to most researchers.
That means they should be mature enough to handle the topic before parents’ health challenges or family transitions make it difficult to have full and clear discussions.
Acting early allows for open communication with compassion and helps avoid potential conflicts later on—especially when parents can no longer communicate their decisions, and sibling rivalries take hold.
“For the most part, adult children assume their parents are well off,” says Vasichek. “But the truth is, many adult children don’t know the half of it.
They have little knowledge about their parents’ retirement plans, how much they have invested in stocks or savings, or even the most basic question: “What are their monthly income and expenses?”
For the most part, adult children assume their parents are well off…”
Understanding their goals and financial outlook is key. Important topics include income sources such as annuities, expenses related to healthcare coverage and long-term care, relocation plans, travel, and charitable giving.
“The fewer surprises, the better,” adds Vasichek. “Unexpected financial setbacks can be addressed before they become irreversible.”
Seniors are often the victims of online scams and susceptible to risky family business ventures (think second cousin Allen’s failed emu ranch) that may put their finances at risk. The more you know, the better you can help prevent these pitfalls.
Knowing your parents’ wishes for inheritance, end-of-life care, and funeral arrangements may lead to difficult conversations now but can mitigate high-stress situations in the long run.
7 Ways to Avoid a Rough Start
- Be clear that your concern is about them and their wishes for their future—not about how much is left for you. If you mean it, it will come across as sincere. You are their kids, after all.
- Be patient and respectful. These discussions can be tough. Give everyone time to process without pressuring them for immediate answers.
- Request financial documents like wills, insurance policies, bank statements, and other records to get a full picture.
- Focus on priorities. Don’t overwhelm participants—start with the most pressing concerns first.
- Involve trusted professionals. Financial advisors, accountants, or lawyers can offer expertise and an objective perspective.
- Follow up regularly. Financial situations change over time, so revisit these conversations as needed. .
- Include siblings or other trusted family members and friends. A group discussion often feels less intimidating.
Your parents still might push back. If they’re uncomfortable sharing details, respect their boundaries and focus on the importance of having a plan rather than specific numbers. Good planning now forms the foundation of trust that lasts for generations to come.
Alex Vasichek
Financial Planner
Forbes 2024
Best-In-State Top Financial
Security Professionals
*Forbes / SHOOK Research https://www.forbes.com/sites/rjshook/2022/07/28/methodology-americas-top-financialsecurity-professionals-2022/https://www.shookresearch.com/a-methodology.html
Alex Vasichek is a registered representative of and offers securities, investment advisory and financial planning services through MML Investors Services, LLC, Member SIPC. Supervisory office: 100 South 5th Street, Suite 2300, Minneapolis, MN 55402. (612) 333-1413. Elevate Financial is not a subsidiary or affiliate of MML Investors Services, LLC, or its affiliated companies. CRN202803-8054813
